Archive for April, 2010

The Platinum Rule®… and why it works so well when we apply it

Posted April 22nd, 2010 by Steve Alexander

In my last post, I mentioned I’d re-visit the concept of The Platinum Rule®. First, let me give credit where credit’s due, The Platinum Rule® was created by Dr. Tony J. Alessandra and is a registered trademark. His work is pioneering, as it shifts the entire focus from ourselves to others. The Platinum Rule® simply states, “Do Unto Others As THEY Want Done Unto Them.” What it does is force us to think outside ourselves, requiring an empathic connection to the hearts, minds and souls of those folks with whom we’re interacting. It helps us seek to understand, rather than to be understood.

Why does that matter to you? Well, in that simple re-framing, we’re able to step back and examine from a different set of values, perspective and experience. Other than our own. And that’s where the magic begins.

I did a training for city department directors on how to manage difficult people. One jokingly said, “We’d all be fine if we didn’t have to deal with the public!” We all knew it was a form of gallows humor. And we all knew there was some truth to the view and experience that this person shared. Of course, we can get jaundiced by the day-to-day of complaints, criticism and sometimes downright ruthlessness when we’re in those kinds of public interface careers. So, it’s important to stop and ask ourselves, “What does this person need?” “What’s given rise to their complaint or problem?” “Why am I in this unique spot at this specific moment in time?”

With that insight, we begin to lay the foundation for applying The Platinum Rule®: “How can I be of service in helping them get their needs met, in helping them get what they want out of their interaction with me, my company and its product or services, or my organization, or the government service I represent to them?”

Why The Platinum Rule® works so well is because it’s contagious. Don’t take my word for it. Check it out. Apply it. Experiment in your job, at home, with your friends. Watch what happens when you start asking, “What do they need and want; how does their world look from their perspective?” And then follow-up with action, thoughts and words based on a view of how to “do unto them as they want done unto them.”

Take a test drive for the next few days; let me know how it feels. What you think. And how it works. I promise this, no matter what. It will be different.

Want your next meeting to be results-driven? Try this simple, effective preparation strategy!

Posted April 18th, 2010 by Steve Alexander

When you’re responsible for a meeting, whether it’s a one-on-one or a group, in-person or by phone, teleconference, etc., try this effective technique for driving solid, measurable results from the time and effort you’ll spend with your meeting participant(s). The process can be used in a brainstorm session with others who are involved in designing and making the meeting successful, or you can do it on your own. The key element is to do it in writing until you’re crisp, clear and focused on the three outcomes from the following question.

“Thinking about the participants (again, this can be a meeting with one or more), what do I want him/her/them to think, feel and do as a result of this meeting?” Sounds simple enough, right? Now try it quickly with an upcoming meeting you’ve generated or one you’re planning.

First, what do I want them to think: Depending on your meeting, you should come up with “I” statements as to what the person(s) should be thinking about you, your fellow meeting planners, your proposal, project, etc. “I like this idea!” “I believe this will provide us what we need.” “I want to hear more.” “I like the thoughtfulness that’s gone into this proposal.” The more “thoughts” you generate that connect with the feelings you want to elicit and the action you want to lead to, the better. 

Second, what do I want them to feel: People are often motivated by the feelings generated during an experience. Feelings are typically one-word statements like, “confidence,” “encouraged,” “excited,” “invested,” “respected,” “trust,” etc. You get the idea. Any time you follow a feeling by the word “that,” “like,” “as,” or similar words, you know you have a thought, not a feeling. Put those responses back in the first category.

Finally, what do I want them to do: Based on the thoughts and feelings you’ve created by your presentation, discussion, interaction, etc., you should end up with a crisp, concise, thoughtful and strategic “do” from this session. Homing in on this will help you build the discipline to use your and your audience’s time wisely, respectfully and productively. The length, format, venue, number of participants, etc. for the meeting don’t matter.

Next time you’re planning a meeting, even if it’s a stand-up five minutes, use this brief exercise wisely, complete it in advance and write it down. You’ll quickly find your meetings generating thoughtful results and engaging your participants respectfully and productively.

The most important question any presenter can ask… and the one they usually don’t!

Posted April 11th, 2010 by Steve Alexander

Typically, when asked to make a presentation, the first question you ask yourself is, “What am I going to say?” That’s the first mistake a presenter makes. If you want an effective presentation, one that keeps your audience talking long after you’ve gone, you have to apply “The Platinum Rule®” (more on that in a later post!) to your speaking and presentation opportunities.

The first key question you should ask is, “What does my audience want to hear?” Focusing on why folks would sit in their seats for the time you have with them is the start to the most powerful, effective and valuable presentations. As a speaker, you need to learn about your audience… what motivates them, why they are in the room, and why they would give their time to you. You need to make the effort to get to know them, their backgrounds, interests and needs; what matters to them, and why and how you can deliver it. Make a contract to use their time wisely and productively.

If you don’t have the time to do the right research in advance to get to know your audience and design your presentation about them and their needs (I’d suggest you not give presentations unless you can invest the time to do the right research about your audience’s needs, hopes, expectations, etc.), in an impromptu setting, you can always start with a few opening questions you can ask the entire audience that give you a sense of who they are, what’s on their minds, what matters to them and why they’re sitting in front of you. Simple questions like, “How many of you have been with the company (or whatever the appropriate venue is) less/more than a year (etc.)?” How many of you have heard something about this topic before?” “With what one key challenge do you struggle that you came here today to get help?” You get the picture. (This should be based on your particular audience, topic, etc.)

The most important thing to remember: It’s all about them! Any effective presentation thinks about, and anticipates first, what matters to the audience, not the presenter. Remember, most folks only remember about 10% of what they’ve heard after only a couple days. Identify and connect with what they care about, and you can drive up that percentage for a memorable, useful and engaging audience-based presentation.

Next: The three key outcomes to identify for any effective meeting!

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